Why do I keep getting negativity from people on mye28?

[WhgHouseCat]

Read Shawn's post below and tell me if you think it is an appropriate response from one of the site's moderators and if it is in line with his past posts about negativity on the forum...

(Saving space by editing my message to appease Skip...)

Wasn't going to post until I saw Shawn's final comments on the thread I posted about e28s in movies and videos. I was really surprised and then I felt that the community should know the whole story instead of parts of it.

[tsmall07]

Maybe because you should start using the search function.

I find answers daily using that without cluttering up the board.

[Shawn D.]

I think PMs should stay PMs, but since WhgHouseCat is playing the game, here are the PM threads:

Title = "about the rude post."

Shawn:

They deleted it I assume. You and I know that there are many hawks on here just looking to tear into other people. You see it every day. It starts with a single challenging remark that was better left unposted. Do you have an actual post that discusses this ebay listing, or Mothman or the Coldplay video?

It is very rude of members to rip into people. I hardly ever post and when I do I speak the truth. There is some great info on the site but I really do not understand why it seems to be so cliquish. When I post, I don't want to expect an attack on my writing or to have to defend my point of view.

Please reaffirm that you will not tolerate nasty stabs by fellow members who choose to post. It is inflammatory, disrespectful and you wouldn't like someone doing it to you. I don't appreciate it and it really gets on my nerves.

In order to preserve a neutral site, please condone the behavior--preferably as an amendment to your post. Reinforce your message.

Mark was tactful. Saying for someone to delete what I have thoughtfully written as an e28 lover is not cool.

Title = "btw..."

By the way, what's wrong with adding a fresh post instead of amending old ones?

When I search the site, I don't use search... I check the most recent postings regardless of subject and work my way backward through the recent days. I think there are other members who browse casually as I do rather than wanting to pinpoint specific information when logging on.

I have never even used the search feature before... I didn't even notice it was there!

My response:

Do you have an actual post that discusses this ebay listing, or Mothman or the Coldplay video?

Do I have an actual post? Damn, just do a search. "Mothman" = 9 threads. "Coldplay" = 10 threads. What more is there to say? The posts are out there.

Please reaffirm that you will not tolerate nasty stabs by fellow members who choose to post. It is inflammatory, disrespectful and you wouldn't like someone doing it to you. I don't appreciate it and it really gets on my nerves.

In order to preserve a neutral site, please condone the behavior--preferably as an amendment to your post. Reinforce your message.

Us Beamters get the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" treatment. We have decided to take the hands-off approach. Every time we intervene on someone's behalf, we're being "control freaks" and/or "Nazis" and/or it's "censorship." We will not get involve unless it's extremely bad -- i.e. "Super Eurobeat" or "Guan-O."

By the way, what's wrong with adding a fresh post instead of amending old ones?

There's nothing wrong if it's a truly fresh post. We don't need to be told that there's an E28 in "Splash" or "Mothman" or the Coldplay video for the gazillionth time. Doing so isn't a fresh post.

When I search the site, I don't use search...

Well, then you aren't searching the site.

I have never even used the search feature before... I didn't even notice it was there!

Do you know it's there now?

To which he replied:

OMG WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON???!!!

This site should be welcoming to all, not just the groupies who are on here constantly. I and many other members DO NOT DO SEARCHES... we just look ONCE IN A BLUE MOON to see what is going on and POST ACCORDINGLY... we DON'T DIG THROUGH ANCIENT POSTS or search for anything in particular unless we have a REPAIR ISSUE. Not all members are alike... different people do things differently.

I understand that you have quite a job of moderating the site; however, when you side with these guys who are rude in the first place publicly in the forum, you unwittingly ALLOW THEM TO CONTINUE IT!

Please think about this in the future.

I don't feel like the site is friendly because EVERY TIME I POST I GET AN UNSOLITICITED ATTACK from someone, somewhere. Please do not contribute to this. You yourself say that you are tired of the negativity. So am I. Why should I have to defend myself even to you? I don't even know you... I just try to use the site! Next thing I know you are picking apart everything I have written...

OMG WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON???!!! The "legion's" or do you promote the welfare of the membership in general???!!! Don't egg the legion on... allow all members to express themselves without any suppressing remarks if they are not being negative.

Feel free to write back... I hope you really think about the big picture with regard to mye28.com and your past posts.

[skip535i]

WhgHouseCat.....









































Go Away.

[Kyle in NO]

FYI WhgHouseCat is female....

[WhgHouseCat]

SKIP... this all is true. Someone told Shawn to delete my post within an hour of me starting the thread. Is that polite, or is it rude?


What are Moderators?
Moderators are individuals (or groups of individuals) whose job it is to look after the running of the forums from day to day. They have the power to edit or delete posts and lock, unlock, move, delete and split topics in the forum they moderate. Generally moderators are there to prevent people going off-topic or posting abusive or offensive material.

Should moderators decide how members can and can't respond to the board outside of the above boundaries? Should someone in a moderator position on one hand condone unpolite (to say the least) behavior and then practice that very behavior or should they work to make it a great place to get information and insights from other members? Should moderators be allowed to criticize at their whim, or should they let things go as long as there is no harmful or abusive material posted? What should a moderator's rules of thumb be for the site's sake?

There was a great conversation started and then it was squelched because some people (who are obviously on the site more than me) felt it was discussed too often before? Why get the bees buzzing again? (throwing hands up in disgust) Why not just let it go --if it is something you have read before, then don't open the link... go on to another topic that is "novel". (rolling eyes)

Kyle, what's wrong with that? (wink) No females allowed either, Shawn? (sarcastic) Am I making sense to anyone or do you all just want to fight with me? (soliciting a bonafide response from the community) What gives? (frustrated and feeling that Shawn is contradicting himself in his words and actions- though as an engineer I respect him and wonder how he has time to do this job too--possible explanation for contradictory behavior could be a justified bad mood today)

[Shawn D.]

What are Moderators?
Moderators are individuals (or groups of individuals) whose job it is to look after the running of the forums from day to day. They have the power to edit or delete posts and lock, unlock, move, delete and split topics in the forum they moderate. Generally moderators are there to prevent people going off-topic or posting abusive or offensive material.

Should moderators on one hand condone unpolite (to say the least) behavior or should they work to make it a great place to get information and insights from other members? Should moderators be allowed to criticize at their whim, or should they let things go as long as there is no harmful or abusive material posted? What should a moderator's rules of thumb be for the site's sake?

Therein lies the disconnect. At the outset of MyE28.com, the decision was made not to have "moderators." Us "Beamters" are not (usually) here to guide the discussion via our extra board privileges. We don't censor cursing. We don't censor thoughts. We rarely censor anything (one example: a rudely-commented picture of a Down's Syndrome child that some folks think is funny, but by board consensus is banned). We rely on the board either supporting or tarring-and-feathering folks, or somewhere in between. Sorry if you don't like this hands-off approach, but that's part of our founding. There are certain folks/discussions I'd like to censor/delete, but that's my personal opinion and not how I have agreed to run the board.

No females allowed either, Shawn? Am I making sense to anyone or do you all just want to fight with me? What gives?

Whether you're female or not is a non-issue with regards to how we discuss issues here. Attacking someone because they're female or whatnot is another issue. I don't think Kyle was attacking you -- just ribbing you for posting based on emotional impulses (which many of us do!).

[tsmall07]

This is what most of us try to avoid on this forum!

[Jeremy]

This board is neither here to give you a warm fuzzy with every post nor has it ever been particularly politically correct. It's an open forum, which has it's upsides and downsides.

It's like a relative of mine who chooses to tell me all about his latest medical test and how it was all done with COMPUTERS! I tried explaining to him once that it was still done by people using the same techniques as usual but just displayed on a screen instead of film . . . he didn't get it. But still, every time I see him I get to hear about this new technological marvel again.

I can't tell him to search his archives, I just smile politely and nod and he soon moves onto something else. Perhaps more people here should adopt the same type of approach to frequently discussed topics in General Conversation.

Oh, and WhgHouseCat, for the love, please try to use the search function. It's amazingly effective at answering questions without having to ask them sometimes, even if it's not technical related.

Jeremy

[Kyle in NO]

Actually Shawn, it was in response to your respone, where you said that "he said" when referring to the "Housecat"...

[WhgHouseCat]

It's great that you are not there to censor except under extreme circumstances. I agree with that. What isn't good is when a moderator throws his weight around and belittles a posting just because he feels it has been posted too many times before, knowing he has privileges Why do that at all?

An opinion on the thread topic is appreciated; a criticism of the subject of a thread that is aimed solely to close the thread because of the the poster's feelings about the subject is not the proper thing to do. If you are going to be hurtful, rude, disrespectful, whatever you want to call it, then have some self-constraint and just don't post at all. Or, post tactfully.

Hi Jeremy, glad you're here. I wasn't searching for anything, I simply wanted to express myself... I just saw that listing today on ebay and wanted to mention it...not realizing it was "old news". It was new to me as well as to board members other than yourselves and I didn't know I should search to see if it has been said before I spoke. There's a big difference between using the board to get technical info (say you need to make a repair) and using the board to converse with other members, which is simply what I was doing until the posting was overrun.

[tsmall07]

I don't get mad/annoyed when new people don't know how to use the search function (I was there not so long ago). Its when someone flat out refuses to use it that I get annoyed.

When I search the site, I don't use search... I check the most recent postings regardless of subject and work my way backward through the recent days. I think there are other members who browse casually as I do rather than wanting to pinpoint specific information when logging on.

I have never even used the search feature before... I didn't even notice it was there!

[tsmall07]

I What isn't good is when a moderator throws his weight around and belittles a posting just because he feels it has been posted too many times before, knowing he has privileges Why do that at all?

They're not moderators. Even Beamters can have opinions. I know that most people don't believe that, but its true!

[WhgHouseCat]

Case in point: did you guys find this link by pulling up the over-discussed topic "negativity on the board" or did you do so by pulling up this post because it was at the top of the list when you clicked General Conversation? Why didn't you do a search? Because you wanted to see recent posts. Do you get it? I felt no need to do a search because I wasn't searching for something in particular, I was just looking to converse with board members and share information that was new to me, at least! It's not that I couldn't figure out how to do a search. Why should everyone have to do a search before posting their thoughts? (Everyone except those who are mye28 junkies who live on the board 24/7 and know of everything that has been previously posted)

Jeremy, I didn't have a question... I was merely making a statement or two in the thread. That's all I was doing!

[option00002]

WhgHouseCat I find you are your own worst enemy.

I believe these goofy situations...

Example I

Example II

do you a disservice.

Pearl Buck was a WV native and once wrote this, "One faces the future with one's past."

[WhgHouseCat]

I thought that was over with! Me and the seller spoke and things were smoothed over. Once again, I made a simple statement that the car didn't meet the reserve on ebay and next thing you know I get an attack to which I respond. It's over with, why try to bring it up again? It's very much like this situation ... I am under attack but am trying to keep cool. Why am I under attack for expressing my take on this?

The seller and I reconciled and apologized to each other. That was the end of it.

[Jeremy]

Jeremy, I didn't have a question... I was merely making a statement or two in the thread. That's all I was doing!

Maybe you should re-read your own posting.

Do you guys know of any other places where e28s are featured?

Think of it this way. This is a community, a group of people. Imagine we're all hanging out together. All of a sudden you start talking very loudly about how you just discovered that your OBC will tell you the outside temperature! Sure, you're excited. It's a new discovery for you. However, for everyone else there, they knew it and discussed it a long time ago. Now, I'm not saying you don't how to use your OBC . . . but can you see how people aren't going to be real excited to discuss something that's already been discussed 10 times again?

Shawn is overly cranky sometimes. He's persnickedy (did I spell that right? ), sometimes ornery, maybe even a touch anal retentive. But he's a human being, and he's a personality on this board. He has friendlier days and less friendly days. So do you. So do the rest of us. I can pretty much guarantee he wasn't trying to insult you. He's typically pretty clever with the insults. Get over it and move on.

If you get hung up on every perceived slight here, you're going to have a very unhappy experience.

Jeremy

[WhgHouseCat]

Why do you imply that I don't know anything because I am a girl? You guys are really something else. Where are you drawing your assumptions from? Even if I know slightly less than most of you, does it really matter...really? Not that I even care, really. Does it change the validity of the main issues here?

My only problem is that board members make rude comments and then can't deal with a response to comments made.

My simple point is this: respect the members who post and aren't violating any rules--even if you feel you are more qualified to be here or whatever you want to call it. You imply that I am inferior because I reposted a topic but added my own spin on it. If you do not feel you are superior in some way, then why say what you have said?

Is it a perceived slight or a calculated one? The tone is what catches my attention. Reread the OBC statement and tell me it wasn't meant to be a strike at my thread and what I thought about the 5er in the Coldplay video and Mothman. Should I consider it to be offensive? Just curious as to why you haven't attacked other "reposters of old news" in a like manner.

I harbor no hard feelings. You guys are just that--guys. Perhaps that is why the communication is not working out. I accept that fact. I get excited over my cars the same way you do, though.

[tsmall07]

Why do you assume that I don't know anything because I am a girl?

Who is really making the assumptions here? That is such a cop out statement.

[skip535i]

Why do you assume that I don't know anything because I am a girl?

Who is really making the assumptions here? That is such a cop out statement.

x's 2

[Jeremy]

Why do you assume that I don't know anything because I am a girl? Where are you drawing your assumptions from?

I never said anything even close to that, and I'm actually insulted by the accusation. You've officially torqued my tolerance by attempting to insinuate anything of the kind. My story was an analogy, an allegory. A fictitious construct intended to teach.

Is it a perceived slight or a calculated one? Just curious.

The only person noticing a slight is you, so what do you think?

You guys are just that--guys. Perhaps that is why the communication is not working out.

I was actually communicating quite clearly. Your refusal to listen and apparently willful misinterpretation is another matter entirely.

Good night.

[Kyle in NO]

Quit trying to analyze this and move the hell on....

[ldsbeaker]

Gosh, we've been busy....
On a somewhat related tangent, I feel that the dynamics of this board are quite a bit different from other boards that I frequent. I've learned to live with it because of the wealth of knowledge. Being a relative newbie, I've had my own share of "do a search", and I've had troubles with using the search function itself.
I do feel that it is a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" sort of situation, though. If you do search, and happen to find a VERY old post, someone will invariably comment about the "oldness" of the thread.
Don't forget your dictionary, either.
WhgHouse... Better just to drop it. You've already brought too much attention to yourself. You don't want to be THIS well known.

p.s. I guess I could have sent a PM to you, but isn't that what this thread is all about?

[a]

WHC, . Noobs in any situation should tread lightly until they know the terrain. Good intell can help assure a positive outcome. Not so with arrogance. The example of Scott vs Amudsen and the race for the South Pole comes to mind. Consider it a life lesson .

[BMWgiant]

Case in point: did you guys find this link by pulling up the over-discussed topic "negativity on the board" or did you do so by pulling up this post because it was at the top of the list when you clicked General Conversation? Why didn't you do a search? Because you wanted to see recent posts. Do you get it? I felt no need to do a search because I wasn't searching for something in particular, I was just looking to converse with board members and share information that was new to me, at least! It's not that I couldn't figure out how to do a search. Why should everyone have to do a search before posting their thoughts? (Everyone except those who are mye28 junkies who live on the board 24/7 and know of everything that has been previously posted)

Jeremy, I didn't have a question... I was merely making a statement or two in the thread. That's all I was doing!

I think everybody has their own way of searching this site.. Some people go through the forum catagories to search for specific genre of posts, others search for specific questions using the search option and I, myself, use the "View post since last visit" and "View your posts," although I also use the search option when in need of a cetain subject.. I also use the search button before I post anything that I think could've been mentioned before.. I enjoy starting new posts, but if there is already one made, than why waste my time? It is perfectly okay to add to an old post.. Some times if you have a new view point on the subject, you can revive a dead thread and receive numorus responses.. We need to be supportive to the knowledge that each person has their own ways of using the site.. We should post accordingly not to clutter other people's methods of retaining info from this site..

I also beleive that all comments should be taken with a grain of salt.. I go by assuming that nobody's intentions are to be purposely rude (Unless obvious attack on a person) but they are to be helpful.. If you look at Shawn D's posts as helpful and supportive, even if in a belittling manner.. It may be very helpful..

We have called Shawn the "Grammar Police" many times... Although if you have seen, he doesn't go around editing people mispelt words or changing their post to suit proper english just because he has the power to.. He will comment and help you for future posts, but it is rarely taken lightly by new and old members.. Alot of people call him an ass for it, but he is not being one.. Many people need the help with posting so others can comprehend what the hell is trying to be said to receive adequite responses.. Those who take it with a grain of salt will laugh about it, but most like learn in the future..

To be told to use the search button is not necessarily rude.. It is said to help others who use this forum in many different ways to navigate without clutter... If I do use the search button for a topic, I don't want to find 500 posts of the same subject and have to figure out which topic has the actual information that I need.. I also don't want to read the same topic posted by somebody new each day, week, or month just because they didn't want to use the search button..

Look at the community as a whole and try to beleive that everybody is attempting to run it together. Everybody wants this site to be enjoyable and do not want to see it go to hell. Anything that is critical to your posts just might be helpful for the community.. If it is not, than it is somebody's own personality quirks coming through. We have no moderators for a reason, we as a community need to police this site ourselves.. Take it all with a grain of salt..

[Eric_V]

Here's my small take on it. I've been following this board for six years or so, and I became a member and post off and on for the last two or three years. Cliquish, well, maybe. I'm from The Netherlands and although like I said I post here for the last couple of years, I probably remain a silly foreigner in their eyes. On the other hand, we all have a mutual interest here, so everyone is trying to help eachother out the best they can.

Also, don't forget a lot of these guys know eachother personally, and IF someone makes a rude comment, just let it slide off your back, take a couple of deep breaths and move on. Those are just spurs of the moment I believe, and it takes one to know one. I honestly can't remember being treated rude by anyone here, and I always received the help I was seeking.

Finally, it's an unwritten rule to use the search function. Why? Simple, if you have a question, use the search function first, there's a good chance the answer is ready and waiting right there. It saves the board members answering a question that has been asked a gazillion times ad nauseum.

[RonW]

We have called Shawn the "Grammar Police" many times... Although if you have seen, he doesn't go around editing people mispelt words or changing their post to suit proper english just because he has the power to.

Of course not. He has automated macros to do that.

G U A G E

C O U L D O F

[Bryan in SB]

Here's a couple of thoughts on this board I've realized over time, which I feel, should be 'sticky'ed'.

1. This board isn't 'moderated' with a cookie cutter moderation style. No one wanted it, and many of the originators left a larger board because of it. I like many others, like this approach and hope it will stay. We don't want a net nanny and no Beamter wants to be one.
2. The tone of the board isn't for softies. If you're post is considered out of line by the POPULACE you'll be called on it. Beamters won't jump in on one's behalf if they feel the comments are warranted. UNDERSTAND THIS. KNOW THIS. ACCEPT THIS.
3. This is a close knit community that for the most part works well. They don't suffer fools, but will help almost anyone who helps themselves.
4. The community doesn't want to discuss old threads endlessly. I understand new members may not have read the entire archives, nor do I suggest it's required. HOWEVER, members will let you know if a topic is done. Don't take offense, just accept it. If you really want to know more about it, SEARCH FOR IT. I know new members get excited about something they feel is new, however, certain topics won't generate excitement because they're old. AGAIN, GET OVER IT.
5. This isn't a democratically elected,presided or run group. There will be favorite topics,cars,groups and events. Love it or leave it. It's the way it is. If you want a group that is open to any idea/concept no matter how many times it's been talked about, find a local Hummel Group
6. This group will make 'Your Momma' jokes, will pull each others' pants down, and will write on you if you fall asleep drunk at an event. If you don't like that, we don't care. On the other hand, we'll drive 100 hundred miles or more to help. This is the way we are.
7. We don't want or like complainers, free loafers, lazy owners or people that we can't 'rib'. Defending your position when it falls into one of these categories, as evidenced by one of your posts, will bring ridicule. You'll be called on it and no matter how much one says it's unfair, no one cares.
8. We are here first and foremost to have fun. A close second to that is to help others who deserve it. It happens on a daily basis and the help isn't hard to get. But it's not free, you will be expected to help others when the time comes.
9. We open our hands and hearts to new members. But, they will be required to understand who we are and how we operate.
10. No one likes drama, and no one wants it. Learn how things work or move on.

[Mr. E28]

Perhaps during registration, there could be a writeup on how to use the searcfh feature that you had to ok (similar to a software agreement)?

[TT]

It's good to get all your Kumbaya'yas out.
We have all been there, done that.
Group hug.


This is a great place. Fun people, lot's of info, plenty of everything.

I have meet and retain some of my best friends from this board, many many years ago. A good amount of the people here own my old cars. I own some of the other peoples cars.

I was gone for over 2 years. Moved on. But I came back. Because of the people.
I don't always spell things correctly, or use proper grammar...and I get called on it (mostly by Shawn), but I don't get bent out of shape (anymore). That's just part of being on this board.

If you post something and someone replies with something you don't like, move on.
If they say something like "...this has been discussed over and over again" take that as a learning tool and search the archives for those posts and read up on what has been talked about previously regarding that topic.

Once you catch the flow of the board, it's a fun ride.

Personally, I think Bryan in SB hit the nail on the head with his post. I think that might have been one of the best posts regarding this topic I have ever seen. (don't let it go to your head B. )

I have never seen you around, have not noticed. But....welcome, I hope you gain knowledge from the board and friends, that's what this board is all about. Hope to see you out at an event in the future!!


P.S. It doesn't matter to me if you are male or female....personally I think it's great we have a female here, it's 2007 for pete's sake.