So there I sit with my new E28 535iS and liter of Vodka...

General conversations about BMW E28s and the people who own them.
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Vectorsc
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 09, 2013 8:42 PM
Location: Denver

So there I sit with my new E28 535iS and liter of Vodka...

Post by Vectorsc »

ETA: The pictoral story of this car which I will ingeniously name "Red":

On the day of Red's acquisition the original owner decided to give it a fluffy sendoff:
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And this is home for now:
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First things first, new blower motor:
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This is a good way to put the cages back on. You have to use a very small socket on the bottom that pushes through the hole in the cage so you aren't putting pressing on the cage vanes themselves with this method - Also, make sure you note the exact orientation of the cages - that is what the witness holes are for, so you can look through them and see the letter that lines up under the vanes:
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Happy blower motoring:
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While I'm here, I might as well recolor the vent covers:
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DAMN YOU RUST - I WILL BUILD A CITY SIZED MACHINE TO REMOVE THE OXYGEN FROM THE AIR AND DEFEAT YOU FOREVER. Wait. They already did that. It's called a City. Wait, no oxygen is bad.
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Princess Clara would understand what I found when I lifted my E28's skirt.
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Did ANY of of the oxygen atoms miss you, rustable metal?
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More to come:

This was the original less pictureful post:
I could use some help guys. I just pick up a Hennarot 1988 535iS. I purchase it because it was almost free. But, as with many almost free car I'm scared.

As I sit here with liter of Vodka and ask beautiful old car about stories from Great War, it tells of many war wounds.

1. All previous mechanics = idiot. 100mL of Vodka helps me with this. I swear no person worked on this lovely vehicle without breaking 2 things to fix one.
2. Another 100mL of Vodka - The rear apron is rusted under the "I'm scared mommy" US bumper. The rust extends almost to the tail light bottom. This would be difficult to fix well.
3. Drivers sport seat has a crack in the top bolster. I rub vodka in it, but it didn't go away. 50mL WASTED.
4. Nothing doesn't leak. Anywhere. I put my Stoly on car, and IT sprang leak. Engine, power steering, I swear the alternator is leaking something.
5. The sunroof operates very slow - I think at first I am just drunk, but 100mL more of vodka doesn't make it go slower.
F. If anything isn't some worn or broken, I have yet to find it.

I must think of what to do with this car:

a. Nothing. Just drive. Maybe worry less when hitting others.
b. Fix completely. What does it mean to fix completely when nothing not broken? Get new car!
Just kidding - take to body shop/buy parts and fix. Get 2 more Liters of Vodka for viewing bill.
3. Build Stanceworks Rusty clone. Piss off HOA. Maybe stop oil leak that is spraying pedestrians, maybe leave alone.

What thinks magic internet people?
Last edited by Vectorsc on Mar 24, 2013 8:34 PM, edited 2 times in total.
Mike W.
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Post by Mike W. »

I think you have a career in literature. A great first post! One I'll drink to. :up:

Yeah, a lot of them are tired now. Rust is only a rumor on the west coast... fortunately. So I can't advise there. Otherwise, don't waste the Stoly on the seats, put it where it belongs. :D
wkohler
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Post by wkohler »

Where are you located? Also, your car is zinnoberrot, not Henna.
L_N_Love
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Location: VA

Post by L_N_Love »

Based on your description, it sounds like a real POS. I'd just drive it and not spend a dime.

:alright:
Kyle in NO
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Location: Nasty Orleans------> Batten-Rooehjch------>More Souther LA

Post by Kyle in NO »

Mike W. wrote:Rust is only a rumor on the west coast... fortunately.
My 533i is a west coast car. The rumors are true.
AT8M5
Posts: 1224
Joined: Oct 06, 2010 12:59 AM
Location: 2sun, AZ

Post by AT8M5 »

OP, me-thinks you're using the wrong vodka!!! Here's an easy fix. Try using either Popov or Flieschman's and pour that on the trouble areas. Your ride will hate it, and fix itself. Brilliant, no? :lol:

Karl
Cactus
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Post by Cactus »

Try mixing the vodka with heavy water and inject it into local amphibians. The vodka makes it more readily digestible. With enough patience you can get a frog to mutate to ridable size. You have to be careful though, bullfrogs will eat anything that fits in their mouth, so you should use a much less aggressive amphibian. Perhaps a gecko, salamander or an iguana or something. You don't want them any bigger than a horse, so dog food remains a viable source of nutrition (cheaper than gasoline, I think). You don't want them eating your neighbors, do you? Maybe you do. I know I do.

You can fix a shitty E29 53i5s or whatever car you said you had. I've got a non s version and it's in such poor condition, I'm not sure why I bothered, let alone spent Dodge Status money on it. Gaz coilunders, 540 binders, moosehead/E31 control arms and a TCD inspired 6pot into a body of rust holes and previous owner crash-damage. At least the interior looks like it wasn't crashed as hard as the exterior. Sometimes you just have to step back and ask yourself what you want. I asked myself that, and I decided this car suited me better than a giant spider. Mostly I was just afraid of giant spider babies. Big things don't scare me (fat bottom girls make the something go somewhere) but baby spiders give me the willies.

If you do plan on putting money into it, it's probably a wise idea to change your vodka budget to a gin budget. Gin is flavored with tree-stuffs, and trees are much more useful when you're bleeding and underwater than potatoes are.

Happy trails, gaucho.
Vectorsc
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 09, 2013 8:42 PM
Location: Denver

Now with less vodka...

Post by Vectorsc »

I can speak now without a Russian accent. Ahh sobriety. Wait...where did this car in my drive come from? OMG A 535iS!

Wait! It's in godawful shape. I think I should try gnawing the key off my key ring!

Actually, I'm thinking f getting the dtm fibreworks kit for it. They fit poorly without extensive work, but cutting off the whole rear apron will actually make it easier as I won't have to trim the rear deck...the rear bumper will just slide right under. That will also nix 95% of the rust in one fell swoop.
1st 5er
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Post by 1st 5er »

Welcome home.

Image
Mab1957
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Post by Mab1957 »

Good project choice! That area around the bumper shocks and rear valance is repairable. The metal is pretty cheap and available from blunttech and other suppliers including your local stealer. The interior components are also replaceable :wrenchtime: . The socket heads on this site will help you enthusiastically. :nuts: Enjoy the resurrection. Some cars deserve the Lazarus treatment and the e28 535is is one. Drive it as much as possible for motivation. :haul:
tsmall07
Beamter
Beamter
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Post by tsmall07 »

I vote option a.
Vectorsc
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Location: Denver

If.

Post by Vectorsc »

I go option B, I'm wondering if I should have my IS front spoiler/cover/thingy fixed or get another. A local company does plastic welding and fixes them like new for $200. Had them do my E24 world bumper and it was a work of art.

Is the IS front cover still available from dealer?
L_N_Love
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Re: If.

Post by L_N_Love »

Vectorsc wrote:I go option B, I'm wondering if I should have my IS front spoiler/cover/thingy fixed or get another. A local company does plastic welding and fixes them like new for $200. Had them do my E24 world bumper and it was a work of art.

Is the IS front cover still available from dealer?
:nuts:
Vectorsc
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 09, 2013 8:42 PM
Location: Denver

forgot the F.

Post by Vectorsc »

let me restate - If I go option B. LOL.

I'm going to let the body guy after it and see what it's really going to take. once he has the rust inspected good he can give me a decent idea.

Looks like the windshield frame has rust along the edges too. A Rusty clone is closer and closer....
535is-pa
Posts: 1944
Joined: Feb 12, 2006 12:00 PM
Location: south central PA

Post by 535is-pa »

vodka an beater e28= cornfield donuts. WTF are you doing here.

nothing is better then a mechanical sorted POS old german trinket to beat the living crap out of. you be amazed how hard you can hit things with no frame damage. and even when it gets frame damage, its takes alot to actually trash the chassis alignment and not just mush it up a bit.
Vectorsc
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 09, 2013 8:42 PM
Location: Denver

Ach - updates

Post by Vectorsc »

Well, got the Blower Motor circuitry fixed.

Which then caused the Blower Motor to catch on fire as it was locked up. Car came through its first fire fine.

PO jammed in a 50 amp fuse and I didn't notice.

Fixed my first issue today - replaced the mirror mechanism on the drivers side as it was borked - and put in a new mirror. Waiting to drive it any more until the new blower is fitted.

Ended up getting a racing dynamics rear apron so I can cut my rusted disaster off the back and have a nice bumper.

Slowly fixing it folks....slowly.
VTR1000SP2
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Location: Ontario, Canada.

Re: Ach - updates

Post by VTR1000SP2 »

Vectorsc wrote: Slowly fixing it folks....slowly.
But surely
Twelvizm
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Post by Twelvizm »

Buy an E28 in better condition, us this as a parts car to make one good car, sell off the remaining bits and scrap the rest.

Switch to beer.
Vectorsc
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 09, 2013 8:42 PM
Location: Denver

Eh...

Post by Vectorsc »

You know, if a car is salvageable I like to go after it pretty serious before giving up on it.

And it DOES drive fine.
1st 5er
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Post by 1st 5er »

Long live the E 2 8.
Vectorsc
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Yup

Post by Vectorsc »

Gonna keep this a pictoral running log of the rebuild.
Mab1957
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Re: Eh...

Post by Mab1957 »

Vectorsc wrote:You know, if a car is salvageable I like to go after it pretty serious before giving up on it.

And it DOES drive fine.
This is the MyE28 spirit. :wrenchtime:

Post pictures.
djazz
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Re: Yup

Post by djazz »

Vectorsc wrote:Gonna keep this a pictoral running log of the rebuild.


:kewlpics:




:confused:
1st 5er
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Re: Yup

Post by 1st 5er »

djazz wrote:
:kewlpics:
I agree 100 %.
Vectorsc
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 09, 2013 8:42 PM
Location: Denver

Bump for

Post by Vectorsc »

The beginning of the pics.
iamcreepingdeath
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Post by iamcreepingdeath »

Need rust pics so we can evaluate! Remove the rear bumper and take some pics.

also: I am highly jealous still that you managed to score that car.
1st 5er
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Re: Bump for

Post by 1st 5er »

Vectorsc wrote:The beginning of the pics.
Mental images were better. :laugh:
Mike W.
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Re: Bump for

Post by Mike W. »

1st 5er wrote:
Vectorsc wrote:The beginning of the pics.
Mental images were better. :laugh:
Especially of all the Vodka and the leaking alternator. :laugh:
Vectorsc
Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 09, 2013 8:42 PM
Location: Denver

Now with MOAR pics

Post by Vectorsc »

Of evil evil RUST. DIE RUST DIE. No, not THE RUST THE. Damn germans. Learn how to make a car that never rusts.
e28ranch
Posts: 41
Joined: Jan 29, 2008 5:33 PM
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Rust Free Red 1988 535is

Post by e28ranch »

It is too bad we don't live closer.

I have just what you need here in SoCal.

Rust free red 535is complete with front end damage.
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